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AiCaden
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Name: Audrey
Gender: Female
Interests: Reading, especially fantasy & sci-fi. Manga & anime. Japanese, and languages in general. Star-gazing. Music of all kinds, except country and rap.
Dislikes: tunafish, hamburger meat(includes meatballs, meatloaf...). I also don't like it when guys hit on me.
Expertise: Doubting my abilities. translating Japanese,
piano, when i choose to practice, 'n' English
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
2/26/2004
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| As I have been considering names for my novel, I realized something I think is kind of dumb. Bella Swan's last name is cliché. Let's think about this for a second. What is a swan? It's a beautiful and graceful white bird. What else do we know? I usually think of the kid's book "The Ugly Duckling" wherein the ugliest duckling turns out to not be a duck, but a baby swan, who when it matures becomes a beautiful swan.
Now take Bella. What is she? Well, she thinks she's ugly or average, no self-esteem, clumsy and in no way graceful. What does she become? Well, I hope I'm not spoiling anything, but she eventually becomes a vampire. She becomes ultra beautiful, white, and graceful. Swan??? Hmm... Makes me wonder if no other last names worked? It's obvious the choice of last name was intentional.
Now... For last names of characters in my novel, I was considering a last name "Samson." I know I've known at least one family with this name, so it's not as if I made it up for a surname. However, I worry that using it will be too obvious and cliché like "Swan" is for Bella. You see, Delia Samson, if that is the name I give to her, is the one who overthrows something evil. What do we know about the name Samson? We know that he was a strong man blessed by God to overthrow the Philistines. After he loses his strength to sin involving Delilah, he is imprisoned and maimed by the Philistines. In one last redeeming act, he asks God for strength to destroy an entire house filled with important Philistine rulers, but he is killed in the act as well.
While Delia will not die, I don't think she will at this point, she will be doing some amazing "house breaking." ^^;'
Too cliché? | | |
| Isaiah 30
Woe to the Obstinate Nation
1 "Woe to the obstinate children,"
declares the LORD,
"to those who carry out plans that are not mine,
forming an alliance, but not by my Spirit,
heaping sin upon sin;
2 who go down to Egypt
without consulting me;
who look for help to Pharaoh's protection,
to Egypt's shade for refuge.
3 But Pharaoh's protection will be to your shame,
Egypt's shade will bring you disgrace.
4 Though they have officials in Zoan
and their envoys have arrived in Hanes,
5 everyone will be put to shame
because of a people useless to them,
who bring neither help nor advantage,
but only shame and disgrace."
6 An oracle concerning the animals of the Negev:
Through a land of hardship and distress,
of lions and lionesses,
of adders and darting snakes,
the envoys carry their riches on donkeys' backs,
their treasures on the humps of camels,
to that unprofitable nation,
7 to Egypt, whose help is utterly useless.
Therefore I call her
Rahab the Do-Nothing.
8 Go now, write it on a tablet for them,
inscribe it on a scroll,
that for the days to come
it may be an everlasting witness.
9 These are rebellious people, deceitful children,
children unwilling to listen to the LORD's instruction.
10 They say to the seers,
"See no more visions!"
and to the prophets,
"Give us no more visions of what is right!
Tell us pleasant things,
prophesy illusions.
11 Leave this way,
get off this path,
and stop confronting us
with the Holy One of Israel!"
12 Therefore, this is what the Holy One of Israel says:
"Because you have rejected this message,
relied on oppression
and depended on deceit,
13 this sin will become for you
like a high wall, cracked and bulging,
that collapses suddenly, in an instant.
14 It will break in pieces like pottery,
shattered so mercilessly
that among its pieces not a fragment will be found
for taking coals from a hearth
or scooping water out of a cistern."
15 This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
"In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it.
16 You said, 'No, we will flee on horses.'
Therefore you will flee!
You said, 'We will ride off on swift horses.'
Therefore your pursuers will be swift!
17 A thousand will flee
at the threat of one;
at the threat of five
you will all flee away,
till you are left
like a flagstaff on a mountaintop,
like a banner on a hill."
18 Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
he rises to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!
19 O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you. 20 Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. 21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." 22 Then you will defile your idols overlaid with silver and your images covered with gold; you will throw them away like a menstrual cloth and say to them, "Away with you!"
23 He will also send you rain for the seed you sow in the ground, and the food that comes from the land will be rich and plentiful. In that day your cattle will graze in broad meadows. 24 The oxen and donkeys that work the soil will eat fodder and mash, spread out with fork and shovel. 25 In the day of great slaughter, when the towers fall, streams of water will flow on every high mountain and every lofty hill. 26 The moon will shine like the sun, and the sunlight will be seven times brighter, like the light of seven full days, when the LORD binds up the bruises of his people and heals the wounds he inflicted.
27 See, the Name of the LORD comes from afar,
with burning anger and dense clouds of smoke;
his lips are full of wrath,
and his tongue is a consuming fire.
28 His breath is like a rushing torrent,
rising up to the neck.
He shakes the nations in the sieve of destruction;
he places in the jaws of the peoples
a bit that leads them astray.
29 And you will sing
as on the night you celebrate a holy festival;
your hearts will rejoice
as when people go up with flutes
to the mountain of the LORD,
to the Rock of Israel.
30 The LORD will cause men to hear his majestic voice
and will make them see his arm coming down
with raging anger and consuming fire,
with cloudburst, thunderstorm and hail.
31 The voice of the LORD will shatter Assyria;
with his scepter he will strike them down.
32 Every stroke the LORD lays on them
with his punishing rod
will be to the music of tambourines and harps,
as he fights them in battle with the blows of his arm.
33 Topheth has long been prepared;
it has been made ready for the king.
Its fire pit has been made deep and wide,
with an abundance of fire and wood;
the breath of the LORD,
like a stream of burning sulfur,
sets it ablaze.
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1 John 4:1-3
Test the Spirits
1Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 2This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, 3but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world. | | |
| I forgot about finishing my poetry post. I am disorganized when it comes to these kinds of projects. I've been working on something else instead. I have too many hobbies sometimes.
Last night I had the weirdest dream.
I dreamed my sister and I were exploring around this old historical site. We took a tour of this old mansion that was there. The outside was a dark brown wood paneling, with a square porch with an overhang. Inside toward the left was a big open dining room. It was probably the largest room in the house. Although I say the room was open, I do not however mean the ceiling was high up. It seemed a normal proportion for a room built in the 1800's. The dining table in the center of the room and candles all around. I think the walls were deep brown too, with large black wrought iron sconces. Any way, my sister and I were standing by ourselves in the middle of this room when we heard a loud crash and thud above us. It sounded like heavy things falling. We looked at each other, but the tour guide came back and we moved on. The right side of the house was a strange maze of small rooms. I don't remember much, except they had some secret doors to the outside. The most famous one was this wooden carving of the lady of the house. She was carved in relief (aka sticking out of the wood) on one big piece of wood the size of a narrow door. The whole thing swung outward letting you out into the front yard, or perhaps it let you in. The carving was on the outside of the house, so finding the opening from the inside is pretty much impossible. The carving was kind of creepy too. The lady was very plain, and should have been easy to photograph, but every picture taken of it, she had just a slightly different expression. Sometimes even her hair style would change a bit. As if it were alive.
Somewhere against the far right wall was a staircase to go upstairs. There was only one room open for public viewing up there. It was one wider room, maybe 14' by 12'? With little to no furniture. I remember there being two or three rocking chairs. The upstairs felt close and the air was stale. The floor felt shaky and unstable, and gave me the impression that the other part up there was blocked off for safety reasons. It gave me bad vibes. So I left it as soon as I could.
From here the dream splits. I found my sister and I were in the backstage area of a church, an old stone church. There was a service going on, and someone was preaching. The backstage area was much like a place where one would put a baptismal pool, but there was no pool here (and no curtain to hide it). On the wall in the center was a place for a large glass window but it was covered. On either side, too, were big boards covering smaller stain glass windows. Don't ask me how I knew. I was on the right side, trying not to be seen, and hoping not to interrupt when someone who resembled Towner saw me and came back. He started opening the window-that is sliding the boards to open. My sister got the small stain glass window on the left while I got the one on the right. The boards were on rollers in tracks, so the "shutters" were designed to be opened with ease. Then Towner started to pull the shutter off the main central window. It opened like two doors with handles in the center. I opened the right side while he did the left. When I pulled at the handle, the door came up and opened toward me, it folded back toward the wall and folded back again toward me, like an accordion. It then latched on the far right, fitting into the molding in a half door with rounded top shape. It was like half of an arch type of a shape like you would see in catholic churches. I helped Towner finish his side as well.
When it was fully opened, we heard breaths of amazement from the pews. So I dashed around and down into the sanctuary to see what they saw. The light from the stained glass windows was beautiful. However, it was more than that. The central window had the vaulted top shape (oh i know, it was a lot like a triptych definition and picture here ) much like you would expect from the doors closing it. Yet the picture on the window moved! It was an image of the Virgin holding the Christ child and she was seated on a crescent moon, the moon's tips pointed upwards (much like a sailor moon image.. weird).
The Virgin smiled and the image blurred and fizzled out, then it was just a normal window.
After this, I don't know exactly what happened. The next thing I knew I was walking outside of the mansion again. I was passing the right front side of the house. Passing by the creepy lady carving, I couldn't help watching it as if it was calling to me or maybe I was making sure it didn't attack. Her face did change a few times. I walked to the front porch, but on the walkway that led to it was a huge flock of birds in two rows with a thin ribbon-like aisle down the center of the groups. They made their way up to and stopped at the first stone step to the porch. It was a congregation of birds! I think I remember thinking that they were two denominations or two different plaintiffs, each group bringing their grievance to the two who stood on the porch. Or were they bringing their complaints against the house? The latter seemed more substantial. As I looked at them, I could almost swear one group was redish colored and the other was greenish colored, but they were normal dark colored birds.
I made my way carefully to the porch. The two standing there were my sister and a man who was the curator. They were talking about the probable demolition of the property due to lack of funding and the place becoming more and more structurally unsound. When I got there they stopped and looked at me. The man had short wavy black hair and he was in his mid 20's. He was wearing a khaki colored wool trench coat, and he looked at me as if we'd known each other a long time. I called their attention to the procession of birds, and they agreed that the birds wanted some kind of settling, like penitence but they also wanted an apology. My sister turned into a nun in the full habit and everything. She started giving a full prayer, asking for forgiveness for the birds, with a pause from her the birds seemed to echo a "Lord, hear our prayers!" and I know I said the words there on the stone step. I was between the people and the birds. She prayed for a variety of things, to forgive the birds, to give them peace and I remember feeling as if that wasn't enough. I wanted to add "forgive us for the blood that has been spilled here. grant peace to these creatures and let the blood guiltiness pass from this place" for I felt that in ages past there had been a terrible bloodshed here that had been covered up by the humans, and now the whole place suffered because of deeds kept secret. So I prayed these things silently. The birds seemed satisfied and they dispersed. The man and my sister continued their conversation, my sister was no longer dressed as a nun. I joined them on the porch. My sister and I were going to leave soon, so I had one question I really wanted to ask. I interrupted their discussion of funding and historical stuff to ask, "So I really want to know, what is above the dining room?" He looked at me with interest and started to describe the last part of the house. "It is full of tiny staircases, and rooms with odd shaped lightbulbs. Some of them are popsicle shaped, others are more round." He continued in his descriptions, but all I could picture were these closet sized rooms with twisted stairs and twisted lights and dark dark crevices. A place you would go mad in trying to escape from. I told him that we heard a crash up there when we had been standing in the dining room. He seemed puzzled.
I had heard enough and was more than ready to leave. As I turned to walk away, the world melted. The earth had turned and I was on a downward sloping porch that pulled me toward the house. I fell to the floor and grabbed a handful of the porch to keep from sliding into the house. It, they, something did not want me to leave. It wanted me and my abilities. Somehow the world righted itself and I stood up again, though the gravity was full on my back. I staggered forward toward the walk and the parking lot. My sister and the curator did not seem to know what was going on. They thought I was sad that the house would be torn down. The curator offered, "It doesn't necessarily need to be torn down. We could file a petition and keep it..." I cut him off. "No, it's not that at all. This house can be knocked down. It should be."
I had made it halfway down the walk with my sister and the curator on either side of me, supporting me as we went. I started to slip and stagger. It was pulling me even stronger now, I was nearly sucked back. I breathed out a tiny "help," and held tighter to the curator. I had to wrap my arm totally over his shoulder to prevent being taken away. They both stopped and asked what was wrong. I could barely say "Keep going." I felt a strange growing love for the curator, though I don't understand it. As we reached the parking lot, I woke up. | | |
| I've been thinking about sharing some poetry of mine for a while. I need to recollect my thoughts from the past and organize them somewhere. Where better than here? Some of this will be old, and some will be new. It's been about 3 years since I updated my own books, so haha, bear with me.
January 21, 2008
"Resolve"
Frustrated into a corner
Again and again, you cause me
To taste neglect and defeat
Like disposable silverwear
Used and thrown away,
But humans can't be used this way.
Will you change?
Not so quickly, nor will I
So what if the china locks
Itself into the cabinet
Until a gentle eater comes
Someone who doesn't chip the ware
Nor wear out his welcome
Across the plate.
So stick to your plasticware.
April 17, 2008
Chaotic moon
Bringing the sea
To beat upon the shore
Just as night
Gives into day.
The way the oceans roar
Makes the case for
The land's struggle with the sea.
Who measured the waters
To place them imbalanced
To rock and throw
Themselves against dry land
To shape the arrogant shore
And keep them both in their place
So daily they clash face-to-face.
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Okay, so I'll finish this in the morning. G'night. | | |
| Writing this down so I don't forget.
A cute and sympathetic girl is much like a medium. They both attract lost souls. The boys are worse than the girls, because the boys want something more. It's always more. >.< | | |
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